October Chill

As we slip into fall, natures scenery is at it's most glorious time. It just so happens to be my favorite season. Nothing is better then curling up outside with a fire in the fire pit, a cup of hot mulled apple cider, and watching the trees sway in the breeze. The colors are so alive. The red tree tops look ablaze, the yellows are brilliant with the sun cascading down, and the deep browns. The air is slightly chilled, yet the sun is still warming our faces.
This is the time we all usually break out cleaning supplies and dig in for a deep heavy cleaning spree in preparation for the long winter ahead. Why is it that twice a tear we are drawn to do this? I remember growing up and my mom having "spring cleaning" and "fall clean up". For years I thought labor day came twice a year! She always informed us that THIS was the day you labored! lol Got to love the ingenues of mom's.
Preparing for what's to come is not a bad idea. Although for this fly by the seat of her pants girl, it does present a challenge. I like spontaneity. I live for it. Waking up and saying hmmmm in the mood for this today? Let's fly to Vegas! Oh yes, that is me. Fall seems to bring it out in me more. Maybe it is the weather, the colors, the adventure of being outdoors relishing in the smells that only come in fall.
This is where the two sides of self collide. On one hand I have the need to be spontaneous, yet on the other.....Some things just have to be planned for! I am reminded of the fable about the grasshopper and the ant. All summer the ant prepares for winter, while the grass hopper plays. I am the grasshopper, yet I am the ant. Is this possible? Let me explain.
Long term goals. THEY have to be planned out. I have a need to know what my future holds.
Day to Day activities, not so much. If I wake up and decide today is a good day to drive to Ohio and take pictures, what is the harm?
I think we all have some kind of life plan. That drive in us that says: "I want to achieve this, or have this."
If a plane ticket showed up in my mail box, with instructions to take the flight and be at such and such hotel, I would so do it. (now mind you, I would have to know whom it came from!!) But, this has been on my mind, would I truly? Could I honestly not plan something of that magnitude? Quite simply, oh yeah! To travel! God, what an incredible thing to do! Especially for the photographer in self. Some would say, but the day to day job? Well, that is what vacation time is for!
Yet as I sit and ponder this I realize that right now, right this second, I already am planning a life changing event.
Being a military wife, you have to be prepared. Deployments come. That is a guarantee. Being a mom with two wonderful girls...yet another challenge when you sit them down to say, Dad will be gone for a bit. Your brain just reels. Have to plan activities to help them cope, missed birthdays, holidays, anniversaries. Monumental life events. The trick is to keep that spontaneous fun mom in play. You know the one, the mom that wakes them after the first really good snow fall (even if it is 2am) to go out and have a snow ball fight. The one that wakes them to make a snow people family, to include the hamster, the ferrets, the cat, and the dog. Only to come running in and drink hot cocoa with marshmallows! The fun mom that wakes them for the midnight showing of the latest movie! Because in the long run, those are the moments that will count. When all is said and done, and my girls start the journey of raising their own family, this is what I want them to remember.
We get so busy in the day to day life. With our jobs, not to mention the long list of to-do items we have going on that list, there is grocery shopping, shoes shopping, clothes shopping, bill paying, making dinner, planning dinner every night ( because yes, contrary to what I thought, kids do have to eat 3 times a day, everyday!) feed the animals (you know the ones already mentioned that they had to have and promised to love them, feed them, take care of them!) and yes, those animals must eat too! (so sorry hermi, and petri.....you were a good hamster and bird!) then you have laundry, work clothes, kid clothes, getting them ready for bed, school, because YES you do have to wear undies to school!! (Got to love my youngest, although she will be the death of me yet!) and the list continues.
So, how can we stay in the moment with our family, be spontaneous and fun, yet accomplish all the rest?! I need to hire people. A maid, a chef, a babysitter...wait I have a built in babysitter my oldest! Come to think of it I have two maids too! Darnnit, now if they would just actually do their chores.....lol. So is the life huh? Now, remove the element of dad. NOW the real fun begins! At least with dad in the picture, you have that shoulder to lean on. The enforcer, the one you yell for when your youngest decided to paint her room all by herself! And you are awe struck. The one you turn to when your oldest hates you because you will not let her out of the house dressed like that! (I do not care if "everyone is wearing it!" and doesn't get that not everyone is because she IS NOT!) The dad element is so important to the sanity of mom. Every mother has "war" stories, and "deloyment" stories. There are families whom have their parents gone for periods due to travel for work and what not. Trust me, I think every parent has an "Alexi". Yep, my youngest. She is the sweetest little girl, that has hit the tween years. But, I remember, all the times she cut her hair. The time she decided to shave her legs...(and other areas!!!) and ended up in the emergency room because she gashed her self in that other area~~. *Sigh* Just so happens the same ER visit I was there with BOTH girls! "Heather" oldest, broke out head to toe in some kind of funky rash, and where was the dad? AT (also known as Annual Training) and School. He was gone for 3 months and I thought I would go insane. Yep, learned that it was time youngest stopped being in bathroom when mom was in the tub! Kids will be kids. Toys flushed down the tolit. Decided to play fireWoman's with actual fires. CowGirls and Indians, and hog tied the dog. Trust me, anyone with children KNOWS.
Again, fun mom. How does she survive? How do you keep the fun, yet keep the sanity? I have concluded, you don't. You learn to be flexiable. You plan best you can, and yet keep that element of surprise, spontanaity, because they will for you! Give in to the little things at times because does it really matter that she wants to wear the pretty princess custume with her "just like daddy workboots" or that she wears the fairy custume w/ wings to the grocery store? Does it matter that she wears the cowboy outfit to church? For me? Nope. Pick and chose your battles. Be flexiable. Who cares if you run into the PTA mom that is perfect at the store, and your little one is "flying" down the aisles?
Same goes for planning a deployment. Being flexiable allows for those little things to pop up. Airing out the house for two days because they miss daddy and sprayed the whole bottle of cologne over the house. Life throws you curves. Nothing is cut and dry. Certainly no matter how much you "plan" something is bound to happen.
But, I can plan for the big stuff. (Like that month long vacation....leaving kids with grandma and granpa!) lol. Seriously, I think you can lead a double life so to say. Keeping the fun in, while planning out for the future. Not everything has to be spontanous. The one thing I have learned from military life is this:
1.Lead by example: if you want your subordinates to follow, be willing to do it yourself!
2. Hurry up and wait: plan it, submit the request for it to be completed, then wait forever for it to actually get done.
3. Command Desiscion is finale: blame the rules on dad, by the time he gets home, they will have forgotten that mom wouldn't let them (insert action here) because mom sticks to "dad made the rules".
4. Suck it up and Drive on! (Yep, princess, pull up your big girl panties because there isn't anything else to be done except keep pushing on)